I had a friend pass away last week. He wasn’t a close friend, but he was a friend nevertheless, and I went to his funeral this weekend.
When Susan and I went through a somewhat pessimistic period regarding church attendance, this guy came around.
We had churned through 2 churches that made statements about being open and affirming (i.e., wanting LGBTQ+ people to attend — no strings attached) but didn’t follow through. The process was extremely painful since we had two gay children.
One church was part of the “emergent church movement” which was initially open and affirming until the majority of the movement became pretty hostile to the expansiveness of human sexuality. It’s a sad thing that I have talked about before on this blog. A great podcast series that goes over the whole history if here.

Long story…but we eventually did find the next church which is a tale in itself. We walked in and met our friend. He was quiet but friendly. He was reserved but welcoming regardless of one’s background. Simply put, he was the face of this church that took everyone in. Susan and joined as members one year later and have been members for a while. It’s not a perfect church (far from it), but its merits outweigh its deficits.
One thing that I liked about my friend is that he was a long-time greeter and talked to anyone who walked in on a Sunday morning — literally anyone, including people off the street with poor hygiene. He never cared where anyone fell on the sexual spectrum (and we all fall somewhere on the sexual spectrum). He would talk to them, tell them his name, and would be very open to their needs and concerns. After my friend died, I found out that he would visit many of these people. He would bring them things that they needed such as food. He would also just bring them presents simply as acts of joy.
At his funeral yesterday, the following poem was in the program:

I like this poem very much.
Our friend was not put in our life directly by God, but as someone who thinks process theology provides a better explanation of God in the world, I think God lured but did not force processes in place over time to give our friend the ability to be present that day we first walked into church. This luring is no different than the trillions or quadrillions or infinite number of callings by God throughout the cosmos in real time to make the world beautiful.

Image from Science News
I love this part of the poem:
“So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured? What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built,
not what you got, but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success, but your significance.”
Our significance, metaphorically, is like gravity. Gravity’s influence is infinite. Every macro-object in the universe has an effect on other macro-objects. This effect is seen through the curving of spacetime. Ah, time…one of the backbones of process theology.
Gravity causes an effect between two entities, no matter how far away they are.

Newton’s Law of Gravitation
In this equation, F is the gravitational force in Newtons, G is the universal gravitational constant (approximately 6.674 x 10^-11), m1 and m2 are the two masses, and r is the distance between the center of those two masses.
As an example, here is a table of the gravitational pull of the various planets in our solar system.

Image from Study.com
You can see that the sun has a huge gravitational pull; the Earth’s moon has minimal pull. Keep in mind that all objects have a pull on each other. We, as humans, don’t feel it, but all objects have a gravitational effect on each other.
For example, Gliese 12 b is an Earth-sized exoplanet 40 light-years away (235 trillion miles) from us. Earth and Gliese 12 b have an incredibly minute gravitational effect on each other, but they have an effect.
Can you see how I am going to proceed with a metaphor here?
You will have an effect based on your actions to animals and to other humans in this world. You can’t stop wars raging around the world. You can help decrease world hunger, but you will never eliminate it. Calling our U.S. political parties “Nazis” or “Communists” doesn’t help homelessness or stop drug abuse.
However, you can be good to your neighbor, and your neighbor can be and should be everyone. I have taken this idea more and more to heart as I have become older. If there is any ground of reality in the Christian message, it is “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). The virgin birth, the miracles of Jesus, the resurrection — I think all of these stories fall to the wayside compared to Christ’s command to love each other.

If you love a world neighbor and treat them with kindness, I believe that the act of kindness spreads out in a manner similar to the force of gravity. The act may be felt even on the other side of the world through people passing on that act of love or kindness…even if the effect is minimal. If we all practiced this idea, the effect would be greatly magnified. We would have no war, no hunger, no homelessness. We would have more creativity (à la process theology). Of course, such ideas are not possible since we are essentially a violent species.
We should at least try since God is calling us to treat the “other” well.

Image generated by Gemini Advanced
I can try to emulate my friend who was a constant pull of love and kindness even to the least of these.































































